Written by Doug Shirah

I want to begin by saying this isn’t easy to write. None of this is for attention. It’s for the one person who might read it and realize they aren’t alone. This is my real story, one that starts with chaos, falls into darkness, and rises again only because God stepped in when I couldn’t carry the weight anymore.

In April of 2007, my life took a new direction. I had spent years being wild, angry, reckless, and causing plenty of trouble in the same town that raised me. But something in me knew it was time to do better. That’s when I joined McIntosh County Fire as a volunteer. Mr. Ray Parker, a man I respected, looked me in the eyes and said, “Doug, you grew up here. You’re going to see family and friends. You sure you can handle that?” I didn’t understand the weight of that warning at the time. I said yes, signed the papers, and helped start the Northside Fire Department. At first it was all adrenaline, excitement, and purpose, until the calls added up and most of the faces I saw were people I knew. Over time I became numb. Someone once told me I had PTSD. I denied it because in my mind I hadn’t earned the right to struggle. I wasn’t a soldier overseas. I thought I would be fine. I was wrong.

In 2010 the wild vagabond I was somehow caught the heart of the woman who would become my wife. I still don’t know how, but I’m grateful every day she chose me. A year later God blessed us with our son. I wanted to provide and be a leader, but I wasn’t making ends meet. So I decided it was time to get serious and return to law enforcement. In 2013 I entered the Peace Officer Academy. Being overweight, I had to push harder than the others. I pushed so hard that I tore the meniscus in my left knee, but even that didn’t stop me. I fought through, graduated, and went after a badge. Eventually the same agency I once burned a bridge with gave me a second chance.

In January of 2015 everything changed again. I suffered a broken back in the line of duty. Instead of going out on leave, I stayed at work. I stayed for two full years, from January 2015 until January 2017, working every single day with a broken back. I wore a brace, pushed through pain, and hid how bad it truly was. I was scared to lose my job, scared to look weak, and just trying to take care of my family. By the time the doctor finally removed me from duty in 2017, the damage wasn’t just physical. Depression had already started creeping in.

I felt useless. Useless to my coworkers, to my family, to my son because I couldn’t throw a ball with him or play with him like he deserved. The nightmares from fire service and law enforcement calls were piling up. My mind was slipping into a darker place and I didn’t know how to stop it.

On May 28th, 2017 at 3:02 PM I hit rock bottom. I drove to my peaceful place, pulled out my gun, put it to my head, and pulled the trigger. The gun, a gun that had never malfunctioned before, did not fire. That is the truth. For a long time I told people I got distracted by a phone call, but the real story is simple. God stopped that trigger. When I finally looked at my phone, it was blowing up with calls and messages from people who cared. I dropped the gun, broke down, and cried out to God. I told Him I couldn’t do it anymore and I needed Him to take over my life because I clearly couldn’t carry it myself. And He did.

Life didn’t immediately get easier after that day. By 2020 the drinking, the stress, the depression, and the emotional weight pushed my body to 502 pounds. I barely recognized myself. So I fought back. I had weight loss surgery, started taking my life back, and that same year I married my wife, the woman who had stood by me through everything.

By 2021 with the weight off and my strength returning I went back into uniform. It felt like redemption. But politics and personal agendas pushed me out unfairly. It cut deep. I stepped away from law enforcement to regroup, but I slipped back toward alcohol and old mental battles.

In 2022 God opened another door. I returned to law enforcement stronger and wiser. I made the SRT team, joined traffic, and rebuilt confidence I hadn’t felt in years. But life kept hitting. I crushed my thumb on duty. Then came the worst years of calls I had ever worked. From 2021 to 2024 the deaths were nonstop. Working where I grew up meant most of the faces were people I knew. I lost close friends to COVID, suicide, and vehicle accidents. Seeing strangers die is one thing. Seeing people you love die is another. Every loss added another weight I didn’t know how to put down.

Then 2024 tried to break me completely. My wife lost her father. Shortly after I was hit by a truck on duty. A few months later I lost my own father. Two father figures gone and a near death experience of my own in the same year. It was almost too much to carry.

The old me would have drowned all that pain in alcohol and for a little while I almost did. But this time I wanted something different. On March 17th, 2025 I put the bottle down. Not forever, but until I know I can control it. That day I surrendered everything. 

My guilt, my anger, my past, my pain, and my addiction. Since then my mind has been clearer, my faith stronger, and my heart steadier.

Today I’m back in law enforcement, but more importantly I’m walking with God. I’m a better husband, a better father, and a better man, not because I’m perfect, but because God never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself. The same God who stopped that trigger in 2017 carried me through every storm that followed. And today I stand stronger because of my wife, my son, and my bonus daughters. They keep me grounded, focused, and alive.

 They are the proof that God restores what was once broken.

- Doug Shirah